For most people, one of the most challenging goals is to raise a thoughtful, productive and compassionate child and to enjoy an authentic, intimate and joyful relationship with that child right through the young adult years. In the year 1954, Dorothy Law Nolte wrote a poem—Children Learn What They Live. Though in those days it was not very acceptable, but today it has become an established fact in parenting worldwide.
This poem clearly suggests that the best thing that a parent can do for their kids is to set themselves as role models every day. While raising their children, the parents of today do a number of things like telling interesting stories of the successful people world around, putting them in best school as per their financial abilities, employ best home tutors, make sure that their children read the best-selling books so on and so forth. But, while doing the most important job in their lives—raising their children” they fail to do only one thing and that is presenting themselves as their kids’ role models.
Therefore, if you want your child to develop the way you want, you will have to be the perfect person to imbibe all these qualities. The parents who succeed in raising their children successfully have a secret. They are more peaceful, calmer, but they also stay more connected—to their kids and to their own inner wisdom. They are not just more patient—they seem more present and joyful with their children. This is of course produces better-behaved kids.
Most parenting blogs focus on changing the behavior of your children. But, it is all about changing your own behavior. Given below are some behavioural changes you can make in order to transform your kids into smart, intelligent and morally-right kids:
Do not be a couch potato:
If you fall in the category of those parents who have an easy life, like 10 to 5 job, very few things to do, little responsibilities to shoulder and hence enjoy your leisure time watching TV, surfing net, talking for long hours on mobile, etc. shun these habits at the earliest. Mind, your children will not learn what you expect from them. Rather, they will learn what they live.
Do not lie:
This is a common complaint of the parents of today—my children have started taking me for a ride. I am heart-broken now. I was expecting only one thing from my children and that is to see them as morally right individuals. But, all those parents forget onething—though they expected truthful children, but they themselves never practised it.
Do not Procrastinate:
If you expect your child to be a sincere student, the one who never skips his or her homework, does all the work on time, you will yourself have to shun the habit of procrastination. Mind, procrastination and indecision confluence together. If your child imbibes the bad habit of procrastination, it will make him or her unable to make any decision and subsequently he or she will start lagging behind his or her classmates. Resultantly, your kid will turn to be the person you had never expected.
We want to take this concept further to remind everyone even coaches, politicians, grandparents, teachers and store clerks, that children are learning from all of our examples every day.
By Dorothy Law Nolte
If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.
If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.
If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.
If children live with acceptance,
They learn to love.
If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.
If children live with honesty,
They learn truthfulness.
If children live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.
If children live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.